Movement in Still Life

So maybe we need a break...

2007-10-24T03:03:00.000-04:00

It's a funny thing, how it takes nearly earth-shaking developments to get me up off of my ass to write again. So here we are, two days from five years, and suddenly we need a break. Time apart. I can't wrap my mind around the implications ominously fluttering below the surface of the dinnertime conversation from mere hours ago. A break. Time out. Putting it on hold. I guess I've walked myself into this, with my big dreams of school and a career and a purpose. I must be a complete moron to have thought it would go any other way. There may be a purpose for me, but is it really worth this? Was it ever? What do I do with this rot in my chest that keeps infecting my mind?

Inner

2007-10-24T02:59:00.000-04:00

It's been a long time.
Yeah, I know.
Where've you been?
Around, and around some more. I nearly feel as though I've lived, even.
Well, what brings you back to these parts?
Not sure... perhaps I finally have something to say again.
Is perhaps even good enough?
Well, it never got in my way before.

Change of Plans

2007-04-29T10:29:00.000-04:00

I was fully intent to remain in Louisville long enough to get my Associates degree in Graphic Design. Really, I was. Until Ford went all wacky on me, making changes that I could not agree with. So, I'm taking the educational buyout in September, and heading back to Atlanta to pursue my B.F.A. in Graphic Design instead. I've already completed my application process, and am lining up student loans and such to cover what Ford doesn't. Still, Louisville will hold a place in my heart, and given the chance, I'd love to move back permanently. So, wish me luck, as I uproot my family once again.

Current Mood

2007-04-03T15:51:00.000-04:00

Ambivalence, drowning in despair, marked with sudden flashes of white hot fury, accentuated with boredom.
And I don't even know why.

2007-03-17T02:45:00.000-04:00

Link: Casino Royale Because There's no Bond like the new Bond. Even Connery, while more cunning, wasn't this blunt or sociopathic. Brilliant performance by Daniel Craig, brilliant remaking of a classic but ridiculous franchise into a serious art again. I'm heading off to watch it again. And again...

A Penny for The Days We Played

2007-03-15T02:23:00.000-04:00

It's the early hours that the past creeps in, jostling your brain with rose tinted memories of friends and faces all grins and even the love shared now and then; never the pain, nor the betrayal, nor your stupid blunders that blew friendships away in hurricane fashion. It's always the lazy, sticky summer days playing in the sun, the laughing games of tag and Marco Polo, and the occasional slice of cake at the birthday party. We aren't programed to dwell on the bad, not in the wee hours, our minds block most of the bad and enhance the good in ways that the Pope would saint us were we the only record of our deeds. Sadly, there's already a saint Matthew, so I'd have to settle for Saint Matty G., patron saint of bad white rappers. Thank God I'm not Catholic.

2007-02-18T22:20:00.000-05:00

Movie: Serenity Because there's nothing quite like a good sci-fi film... except for a great sci-fi film; this is one of the best.

Slap In The Face

2007-02-06T18:54:00.000-05:00

So Ford is going to revive the Taurus namesake, slapping it on the slow selling and generic and pitifully under-designed Five Hundred. The fact that they closed the Atlanta assembly plant, whose workers poured their hearts and souls into building the best quality vehicles in the Ford Production system, is bad enough. It was perhaps a necessary measure to save a poorly managed and under-marketed company, and we have accepted that. But to name one of the worst mistakes Ford has thought up for a passenger vehicle with the nameplate that Atlanta workers gave blood, sweat, and tears for, to label a car that is being built by a plant that brought quality numbers down consistently when they were building the Taurus, and to do it for the sole purpose of boosting sales is nothing short of sacrilege.
I support Ford in many of their decisions. They support my family, and have done so for two generations. I believe that Ford products are among the best in the world. I have never owned a vehicle that wasn't a Ford, Lincoln, Mercury, or Mazda. But I have to have a say about this ultimate insult to a group of workers who built the top selling passenger car Ford had, a car that was largely ignored by those in charge even though people were still trying to buy them even when they were off the open market. In doing this, I hope Ford realizes that they are spitting in the face of 2000 laid off former employees and retirees. I hope they can sleep knowing that.

1 Down, 21 To Go

2007-02-01T21:59:00.000-05:00

I am officially finished with my first class at Brown Mackie. I did very well, making a 97 on my final exam, and I will know my final grade hopefully by Monday. I'm pretty certain it will be an A. I feel that I am settling in well, getting used to being a full time student as well as a full time worker, husband, and father. It's a full plate to be sure, and there's nothing easy about it, but it will be worth it to have that degree in my hand, a first step to a future beyond the assembly line.
I actually learned a lot from the class I was taking, how to be a better student and plan my time efficiently. That my college cares enough about their students to try to mentally prepare them to succeed in school speaks volumes. And that the teacher cared so much about her students and the curriculum, and taught in such a way that I was truly intrigued and wanted to learn and use the material spoke even louder. If the rest of my experience is this much fun, the next two years will fly by.

Blew Through It!

2007-01-24T20:54:00.000-05:00

I took my midterm on Monday, and I got a 93 on it! I tied the high scorer in the morning class, and we had the highest scores in the class! I have a 96.87 at midterm overall, so I'm pretty happy about it. Thought I'd brag about it just a little bit. 'Cause what's the use of good grades if you can't brag about them?

Coffee Trumps Dissent Every Time

2007-01-18T08:14:00.000-05:00

So I head into Starbucks for a grande cup of their magnificent caramel apple cider, and it gets me to thinking. Being a child of the 90's, the automatic response is an iconoclastic avoidance of the mass culture that such "hip and trendy" yuppie paradises as Starbucks used to represent. Then I reminded myself that I do in fact consider myself a capitalist, am in no way an activist or of an anti-cultural vein, and that my intended profession includes designing corporate identities for big businesses and brands just like the world's most familiar coffeehouse. Thus began and ended my one and only extremely minor excursion into cultural dissonance. I guess there's just not a liberal bone in my body. And I really need a white chocolate mocha latte, cause I'm not nearly jittery enough.

Long Distance Friendships

2007-01-12T11:13:00.000-05:00

It's amazing how you can be 500 miles away from people and still feel close to them. Some of the people I'm happy to call my friends have both distance and years between us, and yet, the past doesn't matter anymore. The friendship is what matters these days, as it should have long ago. Mistakes that seemed to ruin relationships back then now seem trivial and asinine. Thank God we don't keep the high school drama mentality for our entire lives. Society would be even more trivial and materialistic than it already is.
Reuniting via the internet, many old friends have become new ones, with lives as exotic and amazing as mine often isn't. One of my new old friends is a missionary working in China; another works in D.C. and travels the world. One is going through a divorce, another just graduated from college. My brother-in-law, also a friend from high school days, is having to change route sales jobs as often as underwear. None of us, I'm sure, dreamed our lives would be the way they are now.
But through our disparate, distanced existences, we somehow reconnected; the wonders of myspace, i suppose, and the internet's ability to do something other than browse porn.
I'm grateful for my friendships I've developed, and redeveloped online. I needed someone to tke me 500 miles and ten years back to when life was less (and more) complicated. I think we all need that.

Already Garnering Attention

2007-01-08T23:17:00.000-05:00

So I get to school early today to drop off my transcript from Devry University, and the receptionist looks at me kinda funny and says "Do you blog?"
"Yeah...." was my wary reply, because I know what a double edged sword a blog can be (see Dooce.) He doesn't miss a beat; "mr destructo...?"
"That would be me," and I'm sweating bullets because I've never met anyone who's even read my blog before, family excepted.
So He turns his monitor toward me, and lo and behold, it's my blog, which seems to have been making it's way around the school ALL DAY, and suddenly I'm known to a few of the faculty. I only hope I have nothing but good things to say about my wonderful college, because I may be tarred and feathered otherwise.
So, to all you new readers at Brown Mackie College- Louisville, my new and dear alma mater, I hope you continue reading my humble posts, and even the occasional comment would be nice. It's good to get noticed, even when it catches you off guard. Especially then.

Higher Education

2007-01-07T21:24:00.000-05:00

My journey toward a higher education begins tomorrow, as I start my first class at Brown Mackie College - Louisville, a small but convenient technical college near work. At orientation on Thursday, I felt much more comfortable with the institution and my choice to study Graphic Design than I had originally. The staff truly seems to care about the students, and the curriculum is geared toward teaching the information that truly helps you in your career. You take one class, three nights a week, one a month, so it's full time; It just doesn't crowd your schedule like a traditional college. On around December 18, 2008, I'll have an associates degree in Graphic Design, and hopefully a way out of Ford Motor Company on my terms, not by being laid off. The unacceptability of being unemployed was what brought my family and I to Kentucky, and I don't plan to leave here without a plan and a purpose. If all goes well, we won't have to leave at all.

Cause Quickies are Fun, Too

2006-12-28T21:56:00.000-05:00

Just a quick post from GA, a reassurance that regular posting will resume in the new year. We're having too much fun to spend a lot of time on the computer. See you sometime after the ball drops and drunken choruses of "Ald Lang Syne" ring in the new year.

Christmas: Accomplished

2006-12-25T20:05:00.000-05:00

Presents: opened. Ham, candied yams, green bean casserole, peas & carrots: eaten. Naps: taken, for the most part. Giggling, grinning, playing, even a little good natured tickle torture: Oh, you bet. Christmas spirit: received, contrary to prior doubts earlier in the week. All in all, pretty much the happiest Christmas in a few years, and I'm very glad for it.

Glad Tidings of Comfort and Joy

2006-12-25T03:25:00.000-05:00

Wherever you are today, however many friends or family members you have around you, or even if you are alone on this Christmas morn, I wish you all the best for the day ahead. May joy, love and peace surround you all. From my family to yours, Merry Christmas.

Beauty in Blogging

2006-12-18T23:34:00.000-05:00

The beautiful thing about blogs is that, many times, they aren't. Often they're the ugly little rants and ravings of frustrated souls seeking release; ever more often they're the public disclosures of random days in the private lives of obscure people. That there exists a format to give seemingly insignificant individuals a global voice, with a slight chance of gaining some interested, or bored, or even like-minded audience; That in itself is truly a blessing. Because millions of writers who perhaps never have a decent shot at being published in any meaningful forum, at least now have a chance at absolution. Something of us lasts, for ever so slight a time; and that, of all things, is a gift we should be grateful for.

Not Home, But Home

2006-12-17T15:33:00.000-05:00

As Christmas barrels closer, a mere 8 days away, the logistical nightmare that is holiday travel fills my mind. Not to mention the near last minute shopping that is the hallmark of every Christmas for me. Luckily, we will be heading to Georgia the day after the big holiday, so we have plenty of time to pick up presents on the way down, if we must. Hooray, after-Christmas sales! I hope to catch up with some old friends while there, and smell the GA air , smoggy and polluted though it is. It may not be home anymore, but it will always be home somewhere deep inside.

My Stand

2006-12-16T23:48:00.000-05:00

I'm starting over. From scratch. This got so far away from my original intent, that I was disparaged of ever posting to it with anything meaningful again. Therefore, I thought, New Year be damned, I'll go ahead and start over now, so that if I slack off with it again, I can have my resolution ready. My downfall with my previous version was that I tried hard to invent spontaneous brilliance, and fell way short far too often. I'm going to take a different tack now, setting my thoughts down and mulling them over, cultivating them into worthy posts, and hopefully gaining a small following (hi mom and dad) along the way. I do believe, as many who type their thoughts and post them electronically to the world, that I have something to say that's worth reading. I know my thoughts, if expressed fluently and interestingly enough, can make something of a difference to someone, or start a dialogue. Just getting someone thinking would be enough. Perhaps making friendships with a few like-minded bloggers. Anything to carve out my piece, to say "This is who I am, this is what I believe, this is my stand." Welcome to the new Still Life.